


Surge

by kanekit



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Best Friends, Cussing, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-29
Updated: 2013-11-29
Packaged: 2018-01-02 22:56:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1062641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanekit/pseuds/kanekit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collection of one-shots of a modern AU where Marco and Jean are best friends that live together in an apartment and might be(come) something more. Jean suffers from anxiety and has anxiety attacks that Marco helps him through.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surge

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for cussing? I cuss a lot when I write.

Today just wasn’t Jean’s day. He felt like shit, utter and absolute shit. His stomach was churning, face burning hotter and hotter with each second as if he was blushing ( _really, the way his face felt was as if he was embarrassed to all hell_ ), and he didn’t quite feel like he was _there_. Where was he? Oh, he could tell you his exact location on a map, but mentally, he was floating- unsettlingly so. He felt non-existent, far away. Not like himself in the least. The thought in its own made him feel physically sick ( _why the hell was he even here?_ ).

An anxiety attack- of fucking course it was.

Rubbing a hand over his nose, something he tended to do when feeling anxious in general, Jean took a deep, shuddering breath in, trying to fill those lungs of his that at this point ( _he was pretty sure he was hyperventilating now_ ), felt eternally empty. Marco immediately took notice from his spot in front of the computer once he heard the other struggling to breathe properly, brown eyes focusing in on his friend who was slowly curling in on himself on the edge of his bed.

Words that were spoken reassuringly to Jean were in no way direct mentally ( _he couldn't even comprehend what the brunette was saying right now_ ), the voices floating through his body and leaving a dull, negative ache in their wake. Even his best friend, Marco’s concerned words rang unhappily in his chest. But, oh, the sweet freckled angel was already sitting beside him on the bed, rubbing his back at this point, questioning, and wondering if he was okay.

Really, it only made him feel worse, more anxious. But he didn’t know why. He was just trying to help. The one suffering the anxiety attack honestly appreciated it but the situation only made him feel sicker. He was pretty sure he was going to throw up.

“Jean. Look at me. You okay, man?”

“I… I can’t.”

He wasn’t sure if Marco was upset with his answer or not, but he couldn’t look at that freckled face; those kind eyes that he knew were watching him. Jean knew- he fucking knew that if he so much as glanced at the familiar person beside him, he would break down. The tears welling under his eyelids and threatening to spill over told him as much.

The two-toned haired man was losing control. Losing it and fast, hands shaking uncontrollably as he reached upwards to swipe them over his face and try to regain some emotional stability. Oh, he felt sick, and expressed it with a restrained moan that had Marco squeezing his arm gently and reassuringly.

Tears were rolling down his cheeks now, the swipe not doing anything to improve his mental control over this anxiety attack, if only making in feel ten times worse. Really, he was struggling to not yell, laugh, he didn’t know what he wanted to do _but he wanted to throw something_. No. No. He just wanted to hug Marco. Or push him away ( _what a great-ass thought Jean, push away your best friend_ ). What the fuck did he even want?

Why the fuck did he have to be this way?

Jumbled thoughts raced through Jean’s mind, confusing him as much as they upset him. He didn't even know why he was freaking out.

Knowing there wasn’t much he could do for his friend; Marco wrapped a reassuring arm around Jean's shoulders and pulled him closer against his side.

“Just tell me what’s on your mind when you’re ready.”

Jean took another shuddering breath and hid his face in the other’s chest for a good five minutes until he regained enough control to speak without breaking into what he felt were entirely random sobs.

And he told Marco what was on his mind.

It helped, even if he still didn't understand what made him have an anxiety attack in the first place.

**Author's Note:**

> I dunno. I haven't written fanfictions in forever and got into the Attack on Titan fandom (also my first time on AO3)... then thought, what if Jean had anxiety attacks? I get them fairly often, and more so now that my anxiety has gotten worse. So I thought this might open it up for people who are wondering about it (I don't think anxiety attacks tend to be the same for every person?) and make for an interesting collection of one-shots. 
> 
> I plan to write more chapters (probably all small like this, maybe longer if I get more inspiration, maybe even smaller, but my thoughts when writing tend to be really jumbled unless I'm roleplaying, which I haven't done in forever, sigh, so I won't know until I start writing) but whether I will or not write more depends. 
> 
> Let me know what you think?


End file.
